BerryClaw,ThunderClan

[Sparkles]

Name: BerryClaw
Moons: 24 moons
Picture (Optional):

Gender: Tom
Clan: ThunderClan
Rank: Warrior
Description:

His fur is Dark brown as the trees. With black stripes as black as the night sky.His eyes are forest green like the forest that surrounds him and his camp. Also a scratch above his eye from a battle when he was a apprentice.
His body is very muscular and good in battles! Lots of scratches to show how many battles he was in!
His claws are very long and that makes him a big help in Thunderclan. Also he help's Thunderclan win in battles!
Berryclaw is a large dark brown tabby tom.With green eyes like the leaves on trees. It is noted that he looks remarkably like his grandfather, Brownstripe. Also he has long whiskers, pointing and down.And a big,fluffy,tail.

Personality:

Berryclaw is very fierce and brave. But around his family and friends, he's very sweet and kind. He is loyal to his Clan. He is the opposite of his sister Snowfur. He is very soicial and loud.
Sometimes he can be headstrong . So he wants to do what he wants to do. Also he can be mean and tease his sisters . But he also is loyal. Yes! Very loyal! Even shy! But watch out! If your mean to him, he will be very fierce! So its better to be nice. Or Else! You will end up in the medicine den. But lets talk about the bright side! Like I said he is loyal. Also he can be very kind!

History:

Berrykit is the oldest kit in his family.
So he got to start trainig first. But before that, he got in trouble. He went outside the clan! It was a great adventure, seeing a whole new world and exploring.Even though it was a amazing adventure, he got punished. So when he was a apprentice,Berrypaw fought really hard and listened. Because he wanted to prove himself loyal to the clan. One day a fox came, and Berrypaw spotted it! He helped fight the fox. Even though the fox scratched a large scar above his eye, he still fought! That is how he was made into a warrior.BerryClaw!!!!!!!!!! His sister Sparklepaw just training when he became a Warrior.
Berryclaw was born as Berrykit to rainbowpelt and grayclaw, along with his sisters, Sparklefur,Snowfur,and Mosspelt. Berrykit was saved from a fox in ThunderClan territory by his mother,Grayflower. Berrykit was apprenticed to graytail as Berrypaw. Berrypaw fought with ThunderClan against ShadowClan. Berrypaw was made a warrior and took the name Berryclaw. He fought the fox with his clanmates.

Other:

The Elders talk his bravery and loyality to the Clan!

[Sparkles]

Is this Good

[fleabittengray]

coolcat, you must make enough sentences per section or this will not be accpted. it looks great so far! but you need to follow the form =]

btw here your pic

the code is
[IMG*]http://i26.tinypic.com/2gxl8py.jpg[/IMG*]
just take out the two *s

[Sparkles]

Can I be accepted

[*Nimbles*]

As Gray said, you need to follow the form

Press the edit button and look to the right of your writing space. You will see the required elements.

[Sparkles]

How about now? Also can we do rolplay, like on the History,Description...... (ect)

[*Nimbles*]

The history is great in this biography. You should of, however, asked my permission to have BerryClaw's history to be so vivid as it does mingle with ThunderClan quite a lot!
Secondly, I have noticed that you confuse some of your words. For example, you said 'to' instead of 'too' many times throughout this bio.
In this site we are advanced in roleplaying which means that bullet points will not be accepted. We deal with paragraphs.
If you have any ptoblems, PM me.

You have until the 10th of May to finish this otherwise it will be deleted.

[/size]

[Sparkles]

Is this better?

[Sparkles]

I fixed it up a little bit